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We all have at some point of time in our life have talked ill about someone behind their back. Backbiting is a term used to refer to a malicious talk about someone when that person is not present. When you backbite you violate someones dignity, someones honor, someones respect. It is so common nowadays that people are no longer are aware that they are committing a major sin. I think if I say here that it’s the spark of any conversation I won’t be wrong. You could imagine the importance of this given in Islam that backbiting is regarded as equaling to eating the flesh of your dead brother! Also, it is regarded as even a greater sin then adultery. Ever wondered why? Because the person whom you backbite about is not there to prove himself innocent or to give a reasoning. When you commit a sin like adultery you ask Allah for forgiveness. But when you backbite it is then between you and that person. You wont be forgiven till that person forgives you.
Observing people, I often wondered why we do backbiting. What is so exciting about it that we talk behind people’s back? Have we gotten so insecure? Or are we just out of good conversations? See for yourself, whether it be from a kitty party of desi aunties, a simple get to gather of some school going or university friends, or just some colleagues sitting together in their office having a sip of tea, we all in some way or the other have been infected by this disease. We talk bad about people behind their back, we gossip, we make fun and honestly the harsh truth is that we enjoy it. Not that some of us do it intentionally it’s just that we are so infected that we are no more conscious that we are making a major sin.
Pouring some thought over it I encountered a lecture by Dr. Moiz Hussain a well-known personality and a mind scientist expert who conducts free lecture on various issues every Thursday at his Institute of mind sciences in Clifton, Karachi. It is then that day I understood truly the nature of human beings, the reason behind why we backbite.I realized that it is the nature of us human being that we want to be heard, to be listened to. Observe closely the next time when you backbite with someone, see how attentively they are listening to you, as if their entire existence is focused on what you are saying or gossiping about. The way the listener is absorbed in the conversation and gives his full attention to the conversation merely is a positive sign for the backbiter and he will keep on gossiping and putting in all the spices in the conversation so that it is more and more interesting for you. I think by doing this the backbiter feels accepted in the group, in the society and feels a sense of superiority doing this. Today, I challenge you try backbiting to a wall for a minute, just try it and you will be amazed you wont be able to. You will stop right there. Why? Because there is no response from the other end it’s just a dead wall.
I would like to share my personal experience. I remember I was sitting at a coffee shop the other day. When a group of ladies were gossiping and making fun of someone when suddenly another person from their group stood up and changed the topic altogether. I was amazed seeing the character of that lady, that she just didn’t give any attention to those gossips and stopped that conversation altogether. I think if all us try to bring in this habit and whenever such a situation arises we stop it, we try to change the topic or just don’t be a party to that conversation. Just remember both the listener and the backbiter are equally responsible. Since Ramadhan are just around the corner this is an excellent opportunity for all of us to bring in this change within ourselves and prove to be a better human being.
